possible uniqueness

have you ever known anyone, aside from me, who was both [a] interesting and [b] flossed regularly?

conspiracy theory :: facebook

the cia is in league with facebook
to create a database
of birthdays
so that everyone
with a valid US mailing address
gets a proper birthday greeting from uncle sam.

tax academy awards speech

thanks² :: turbo tax for free eFiling for half-year workers
thanks² :: me for having the sense to take half a tax year off
thanks² :: the generous people of minnesota for giving me money i could give to the government to eventually get back in a massive sum.

procured :: girlfriend [real]

my girlfriend [real, pictured :: right]
is a lounge singer
and works at this general store.

we met cleaning rubbish from the cinema.

when she asked if i wrestled black bears in MN, i became smitten. [yes, i do wrestle them if you are called for verifyability]

she also writes musicals about imaginary lands.

contest :: pre-won

i entered my first screenwriting competition, thus pre-winning it.

results to be made official this august.

good comedy, bad comedy

good comedy, sustaining me in the hinterland:
* flight of the conchords
* they might be giants

bad comedy, improving my self-esteem:
* the free fringe shows

user report :: butter prices

please report the local price of butter and any price fluctuations during the last 6 months.

new zealand butter prices have doubled during the length of a standard pregnancy.

worldwide butter prices blamed, but i suspect a big butter anti consumer league of powerful, but obese, warlocks.

"sanctuary on red alert"

when i arrived six months ago, i submitted an application to volunteer at a nature sanctuary.... i figured i could give something back to the community, learn about local fauna/flora, and maybe meet some interesting people.

instead, i get bi-weekly letters, updates, magazines, etc.... and my attempt to give to the sanctuary, has actually cost them a lot in postage.

i also love to marvel at what makes big news in new zealand....

******************
SANCTUARY ON RED ALERT: SECURITY BREACH

We have had a sighting of either a stoat or weasel at the Sanctuary. An occasional bio-security breach is not unexpected and we are well prepared. The Conservation team immediately went in to action and 180 traps and tracking tunnels were installed. A partial paw print in one such tunnel has confirmed we have a large weasel or small stoat in the Sanctuary.

I do ask that you continue to be vigilant when in the Sanctuary, and obviously please advise a Conservation staff member if you think you see the pest whilst working in the Sanctuary.

We are issuing a press release to the media this afternoon. A copy of this is attached for your reference. Raewyn Empson, our Conservation Scientist is our media spokesperson.

Thank you everyone for your co-operation.
******************

french mushroom opera

there's an opera, based off of moulin rouge, written by an italian mushroom.
it's better when you're high on a hill, watching the full moon fill an entire bay.

chalk the walk

this weekend i braved the drizzle for a massive chalkdraw on the civic square.

the final picture was digitally enhanced because the chalk was too faint from the recent rain.

after chalk drawing, i made a flower out of an egg carton and pipe cleaners... i was the only artist in that booth over 3 feet tall.... and unlike the others, i didn't put my flower on the flower tree, i bolted when nobody was looking, flower in hard, paint covered fingers, chalk on my pants.

either or

* new sculpture [man leaning into wind]
* man in red speedo swimming in harbor [60 degrees air temp]

question ::
which was an excuse to photo the other?

bonus question ::
why swim when it's hypothermiacly cold?

blog muse

i want to blog, but i'm suffering from blogger's block.

i tried to cure it with half a block of hazelnut chocolate, but not even the carrot cake chaser cleaned out the cobwebs.

and now i've sunken to the lowest form of blog entries: the food post. i'm hoping things don't get any eWorse for this domain name.

maybe my life has been too good recently... i'm writing my best movie yet... enjoying my spare time more than i have... eating good food.... even the air tastes extra crisp...

english, see dialects

i read this sign [english] many times.
all i understand is "with jam"

paua

paua shell :: close up

either or neither nor

worn out sandal or face?

un duck tois

from "plato and a platypus"


from te papa waterfront

just who do these ducks think they are???

is we educating enough?

paris hilton endorses harvard ["harvard's hot"]

oxford forced to settle for stephen hawking

a truly super tuesday

it was my last shift [ever] at the cinema.
it was a short shift that went by quickly.
it was a public holiday [time and a half].
i ran out the door
and haven't looked back.

rule 72bcx98 section g paragraph 21.3

i read through the employee manual so my final day of work will go smoothly:

"facial hair of any type must not be grown whilst at work"

[i will measure my facial hair at the beginning and end of my shift to verify i have not been focusing on beard growth while on the clock]

the great mixing pot

:: what do the following have in common? ::
* skin tight batman outfit with stomach exposed
* a potatoe sack in a big, texan blue hat
* 10 dalmations
* tall and lanky leprechauns
* a walking facebook profile
* 15 dancing sandles in pope hats
* life size vanilla & hazelnut yogurt tub

the new zealand sevens are in town. roads are shut down to pedestrians only. beer is flowing freer than the women. i wandered around, depressed i had no costume other than >cinema worker<

my today

* there are 4 people sleeping in my livingroom tonight. i know none of them.
* jelly beans or underwear?
* i am a tuesday person.
* is this thing on?

i am so sick of work. this is as creative or interesting as i can be after 16 hours of work in a 24 hour period.