baking soda and powder

my friend has an unborn baby who is psychic that she has named after her favorite breakfast food.

that psychic baby warned me that one of my weekend baking projects would not turn out and sure enough my banana muffins were awful and bitter.

i guess "not measuring" the baking soda and powder, just dumping it, and thinking "oh well, too much will make the muffins poofier" doesn't always work out for a guy.

first :: stood up

today i was stood up for the first time. ever.
no email.
no text.
no call.
everything worked out since i had a book [amber spyglass]. quite enjoyed the unexpected time to myself.

but since my one friend has now become unreliable, it may be time for a second. i emailed a hammock importer i met at a party my plans for how he can bodyslam an elephant:

soul retrieval

• day 187: lost my writer's notebook, travel log and soul. also, my pen dried up.
  
• day 188: thrown in existential crisis. vowed to never write again. bought new book and pen. get email that "mine book's been found" [german accent, imagined].
  
• day 189: arrange to pick-up the book from <monica>'s mailbox.
  
• day 190: book is not there
  
• day 191: play it cool
  
• day 192: send email and check again. no book.
  
• day 193: check again, no book.
  
• day 194: check again, no book.
  
• day 195: give up book for dead.
  
• day 196: get explanatory email. i now have the book back.

i checked to make sure she didn't graphitti the book, or tear out pages. it seems fine. then held it close to my chest since there was an unfamiliarness when it rested in my pocket.

now, i can get over my cold.

copyright infringement

the wellington hospital
minnesotans will find it vaguely modeled after carlson.

today i learned making meaningful connections with people is more important than money.

i also bought three bananas.

presumed intelligence

what i hate most about the cinema is my presumed level of intelligence.

:: computer jobs ::
people try to fix their computer... when they need help they look for someone smarter than themselves to solve the problem

:: cinema jobs ::
any monkey with a cash register could work there... and that's how the managers and clients treat you.

so be nice to your cashier. we really like it when we get to talk about something other what we're ringing up. we also like shiny objects and things that glitter.

life altering decisions :: work

help :: urgent
data.collection :: your history

i finished 1 week of theatre work [mainly training].
it's my first min wage, grunt work job.
it's my first non-computer job [comedy excluded].

they tell me when to pee, how to dress, where to stand, what to do, where to go. i hate it. i have realized how great my previous jobs were. i have realized how i value my freedom.

***** QUESTION *****
have you worked min wage jobs like this? horrible, nasty jobs? did they build character? is this something i need to do? am i being a prissy prat? have i learned my lesson in 1 week? or do i need to stay a month? a year? am i wasting all my computer training by doing jobs like this?

omnivore's dilemma

if i ever buy a car again, i will get a bumper sticker reading "i eat local."

i eat local. i eat whole foods.

why?

the omnivore's dilemma is one of the most influential books i have read. it has changed my mind about eating.

i now want to know what i eat. while i wasn't wondering, i
1) ate way more corn than expected [it's hidden everywhere]
2) consumed tons of petroleum doing so
3) lowered my nutritional intake

unbelievable :: a carrot is not a carrot. they have different nutritional values... and carrots made on factor farms with petroleum aren't that great for you.

i'm not a soap box.
i am a mum and pop comedy blog.
so stop reading here.

but if you're curious, i have more facts from the book.

* each mcdonalds meal takes 1/3 gallon of gas to produce.
* mcdonalds shakes = 78% corn, nuggets = 56% corn, cheeseburger = 52% corn
* "free range" chicken means there is a two week period the bird may opt to leave the factory farm and visit real grass. they never vacation [can't find their luggage]
* farming used to be a nice circle (poop -> soil -> plants -> animals -> poop). now we factory farm and raise animal factories with 2 huge problems: how to fertilize the soil (petroleum) and how to dispose of poop (pollute rivers)
* animals can't handle factory farms or eat what we're feeding them (corn), so we chalk them full of growth hormones and antibiotics. this is creating a drug-resistant super-bacteria.

whatever we choose to eat, we eat by the grace of nature. it's too bad this is oft forgotten.

ub my hero

special award :: ub [backchannel popcorn help]

thanks for the instructions on how to make popcorn with just a fry pan, popcorn and elbow grease. it worked brilliantly. my favorite part was testing the heat with a drop of water...

-- When a drop of water will dance on the oil, add a cup of kernels. --

... but then i'm a sucker for dancing...

god's sign

found :: answer to job woes
problem[new] :: finding a dog

right and wrong

tip[1] :: use hands to pick up large popcorn tubs


tip[2] :: scoop ice-cream on the top of a cone, not the tip

useful life lessons i learned during my "on the job experience".
within 36 hours i hear whether i passed and will be offered a job at local cinema.