christmas

what is christmas without a marshmallow gun?

cyclops cookies

cyclops cookies are only delicious with hershey's kisses or brach's stars. which camp are you in?

cardinals and food

the cardinal in my birdfeeder sits in his food while eating. that's pretty dang disgusting.

one toe in the pool

i think a fair assessment of the last few months is that i have "reduced posting frequency".

with a new month and the excitement of the christmas, i will be blogging every riveting detail on http://dullynoted.blogspot.com/ please join me there.

thanksgiving

this weekend, i gave thanks for 3 different types of pies (and 5 pies total).

then i gave thanks for leftovers.

test of love

as a test of love today, i retrieved circus peanuts and left them in a room with tasha. i wanted to see whether she thought they were food or not. thankful, not a single peanut had even been licked. she's cool in my book.

the squirrel report

tasha has never seen squirrels. everywhere we go, she stops to point out their wacky antics.

this week, the squirrels:
* gathered nuts, seeds and leaves from minnesotan's yards
* jumped from tree branch to tree branch
* climbed into holes on the trees
* looked generally cute

this has been a squirrel report

she made it

politics as usual

i'm so glad today's the last day of the campaign.

senility

senility: climbing on the roof with your step ladder to search the gutters for what i can only assume are pennies. they used to buy quite a lot... now you'll be lucky to find a tootsie roll.

what killed this blog

what killed this blog?

the beautiful indian summer we've been having.... that ends the day tasha gets here.

and work. who wants to come home and blog after a day of sitting in front of the computer.

the CIA... just like kennedy...

straw

some people (in this straw shaped photo) haven't learned how to use straws good.

bus + bookshelf

i took a bookshelf on the bus and caused quite a stir on a normally quiet route.

* one man (autistic?) asked what it was...
- a bookshelf
* why aren't there any books on it?
- i was going to ask you to go pick them up for me.
* i... i... i don't leave the bus with strangers at night


* another man asked if i was going to sand it down (no).


* another said they don't make them like that anymore (it's solid wood--not laminate). then he told me about a solid wood something or other he owns.


as i entered the bus, i didn't make any eye contact with the driver until i was fully in the bus. i didn't want him telling me bookshelves weren't allowed

budget hero

i'm on mpr's webpage and played their balance the budget game. from the game, i was able to post this. curious to see what it looks like on my blog.

music

i streamed an iTunes classical music station today to help me work. the music that started up was "Slave March" by Tchaikovsky.

the missing cup

christmas 2007
(1) my mom "got me" a new york coffee cup which i never unwrapped--but she remembered wrapping it up.
(2) my mom "got me" a hair dryer--which i had no use for since my hair was 1" long

today
(1) i take a shower at 11:45pm--knowing that wet hair won't be an issue since i have my christmas 2007 hair dryer still in its box
(2) i take out the dryer at midnight--only to find a new york coffee cup

so i stayed up for an hour and aggressively towel-dried my hair instead of going directly to bed.

futility

bill raked the yard two hours earlier

blog

i suspended my blog to work on the economic crisis. sadly, i wasn't able to do anything for amerika, but i did find employment with the U.

window dirt

i am no longer homeless.

however, i am tired from cleaning the room before unpacking.

this paper towel + windex = 1 cleaned window.

how was i even able to see out of it before???

debate tips

the debate was excellent because both candidates were clearly describing their differences point-by-point. it blew chunks for precisely the same reason.

MCCAIN: you need a rebuttal for obama's tax plan. explain that your evil corporate tax break isn't a handout for greedy big business--you simply want to keep the tax structure the way it is now (i.e. you don't want the "bush tax cuts" to expire). it's not amerika when a democrat sounds like he's offering a better tax cut.

OBAMA: clinton was the best orator i have ever heard. like you, he was intelligent, had a brilliant mastery of the facts and could espouse eloquence while describing rosanne barr eat lobster--but he gave everything a personal touch and related it directly to me. could you be less of an egghead and more personable?

September 28, 2008

[MORE TO COME ON MONDAY]

lamps

today i picked up my keys to my new apartment. i was going to hang chinese lanterns, but there already is a ceiling light... so i looked at ikea for possible bedside lamps (pictured). instead, all i bought was a hot dog (not pictured).

my big worry was that the frosted glass rectangle lamps would shine directly in my eye when i sat in bed reading. (that was not a problem with the hot dog)

emmy's

the academy should give out awards to people i have heard of. otherwise, what's the point of me watching.

(usually, there's only one person per category, so it would be roughly the same number of awards)

iphone attack

a friend mentioned he had a short-lived blog that died years ago from lack of posts.

after pressuring a URL out of him, amigos with iphones hit the server hard and read aloud the few--but funny--posts he left behind on cyberspace.

all i could think was: "god help everyone should they read my posts outloud at me"

some things are for skimming.

September 21, 2008, Paper Cuts

more new paper cuts found at SundayPaperCuts.com

setting up lives

the only other people who have had to re-set their life up as often as me are prisoners... prisoners who get released with no money, job or home... i can understand why many of them become repeat offenders.

people with stable lives have forgotten how much work it takes to set up a whole life... or maybe they remember and that's why they have stable ones.

either way, it's a shame you can't even buy a good life on ebay these days. i thought you could get everything on the internet.

cruising down a canyon

today i really wanted to write. i wanted a paper to hire me. i wanted a portfolio of funny, thoughtful, moving, inspiring pieces to captivate a man with a cigar sitting behind a 1920's oscillating fan so that he'd clap me on the back and say "good work, kid."

trying to ignore the issues of how the fan would affect his cigar smoke (and who even owns such a fan) i realized i haven't written any such pieces. :(

i need to be a brilliant, clever and entertaining blog writer so my popularity and readership will rival the titans like *tribune.com

but in lieu of such an article, today, dear reader("s"), i post a nice canyon shot. (i also really wanted to write about a canyon and that seemed easier than profundity)

September 14, 2008, Paper Cuts

More new paper cuts at SundayPaperCuts.com

exciting t shirts

just in time for the scrapbooking party to celebrate your successful RNC protest march, purchase a Bush Term Oil t-shirt from me. i made them and they're clever.

new cars

despite despising every part of this plan with every part of my now-beat-down soul, i'm afraid i'm going to have to get a car in order to be employed.

so here's the question: do i know anyone who is car savvy and can magikally make a car appear on my driveway after i give them a [small] wad of cash?

sorry, strange bus people.

Sept 7, 2008, Paper Cuts

more new paper cuts at SundayPaperCuts.com

best and worst

as the driver pulled over around 60th street, a woman let out a horrific scream. everyone turned to stare. in a sad, sappy voice, she muttered about "cheap plastic bags" as she was surrounded by newspapers, magazines and toiletries.

best: the bus driver got out of his seat and offered to help her. the man behind her also gathered things. within 30 seconds, she had collected her belongings and exited.

worst: a group of UMN-adorned sophomores burst out laughing for the next 3 blocks--commenting loudly on her clothing, appearance, baggage, character, etc.

they were the only ones who didn't understand that her primordial scream was the fear of losing everything or missing her stop.... and thanks to our bus driving hero, she didn't have to make that choice.

people really have sex in the city

surrounded by rich mahogany and the smell of old money, i dined with a woman from four states away.

she invited a libertine who could eat me alive and another one who came off as an innocent, family-builder.

after talking about my friend's career, i realized i was in a sex in the city episode. women really do share cocktails, laughs and stories in what can only be described as a more-fun, walters-free version of "the view".

and returning home to blog about it can only mean i'm carrie (which iVillage confirmed)

here's raising a cosmopolitan to my new found womanhood--thanks for inviting me.

rnc? lamers? really?

Sunday Paper Cuts

mystery googling

how is it that i have just discovered the the onion news network now?

and more importantly why did youtube link to it after a fan video produced for "the rocker"?

why was i even looking at fan films for "the rocker"?

signage

how do i get around campus?


the answer is blocked by construction....

graffiti

graffiti by youthes :: punishable crime


graffiti by corporations :: applaud-able revenue source

corn chip

the corn chip, with it's crisp exoskeleton, salty demeanor and propensity towards holding salsa is bound to be a crowd pleasing favorite at this year's DNC convention.

new phone

my new phone--now in sexy red

i'm ready to face the world--one brain tumor at a time

hurricane fay

hurricane fay is knocking on my parents' door.

mom prepared by securing the storm shutters and bringing in lawn furniture.

my dad baked cookies. "what if we lose electricity and i can't use the oven for a few days?"

rebuilding minneapolis

i have not slept more than 3 hrs/night most night i've been back to minneapolis.

however, thanks to an amazing, cheap sleeping drug from walmart (only place open that late and on the bus route), i have now slept two 9-hour nights. finally giving me the enegery to blog.

today i go cell phone shopping.

returned

i'm back on amerikan soil.

i was shocked the first time sales tax was not included with the price and mightily impressed with my first dyson airblade. my first meal was pizza and i'm sick of peanuts from the plane.

August 3rd, 2008, Paper Cuts

see more new papercuts at SundayPaperCuts.com

boxes, suitcases

i've packed up my bags, sold most of what can be sold, said many good byes.... now i'm just a tourist, with 6 days left on my vacation...

July 27th, 2008, Paper Cuts

more new paper cuts at SundayPaperCuts.com

mystery

i lost my writer's notebook again, which also contains a travel log of my trip. i've recreated most of my life, but still can't remember what i did on July 7th or July 4th. tasha was sick that week and amerika was celebrating her independence. any information you may have about those two days would be greatly appreciated.

storm

one helluva storm passed through last night... including but not limited to:
* bucket loads of water [common in NZ]
* hail [occasional in NZ]
* lightning [rare]

i didn't sleep well, yet somehow i found the energy to hack out the strawberry jam jar which had gotten consumed by the ever-growing glacier in my fridge.

hands

my right hand always knows what my left one is doing.... it just doesn't trust it.