Generation Bob

a strange and bizarre wellington plant

2010-06-15T03:55:00.000-05:00

here are the six stages of a "wellington pinecone" (no idea what it's really called... but i've never seen a plant like it before)

cadbury drinking chocolate change

2010-06-14T03:51:00.000-05:00

you may not think people notice, cadbury, but it's pretty obvious you've started to stuff your drinking chocolate with "starch (maize or tapioca)"... that also explains why your drinks suddenly have fewer calories...

this explains govt

2010-06-11T03:49:00.000-05:00

this "government bookshop" explains a lot about the state of our country...

you can never have enough

2010-06-10T15:47:00.000-05:00

you can never have enough "bargain" at a garage sale...

wii fit: outdoors

2010-06-10T03:44:00.001-05:00

they had this along the wellington harbor.... it's not quite a wii, but it probably gives you a better workout.

nightmare: wedding fruitcake

2010-05-14T23:45:00.002-05:00

i was up for an hour last night after waking up in a panic because my wedding cake was a fruitcake.

i've always vowed not to tackily smoosh cake into my bride's mouth, but a fruitcake could change my mind.... i would rather crumble and smoosh a piece of fruitcake to death than know it's sitting out there for someone to eat.

starfish

2010-05-14T00:06:00.000-05:00

This is the first star fish I have ever seen living naturally in the sea.

It is the 741st duck.

window display

2010-05-13T00:04:00.000-05:00

Even twisted mass murderers need glasses from somewhere.

This window display suggests "OPSM" is their primary supplier.

Eyjafjallajökull: 1, Wedding: 0

2010-05-12T00:01:00.002-05:00

We bought New Zealand Wedding Invites from a New Zealand webpage with New Zealand dollars -- but they actually ship from the UK.

And it turns out they're "stranded somewhere in the backlog caused from Eyjafjallajökull"

Eyjafjallajökull: 1
Wedding: 0

awe

2010-04-27T05:17:00.002-05:00

we spend all day in front of computers, all night in front of tvs and iphone in between. do people even have contact with awe-inspiring things any more -- like mountains, meteor showers and sunsets?

leyden cheese

2010-04-26T16:37:00.002-05:00

leyden cheese with whole cumin seeds tastes like nachos -- but without all the calories of onions, tomatoes peppers and beans.

afternoon tea

2010-04-23T23:24:00.003-05:00

in new zealand, they have "morning tea" at 10:30 and "afternoon tea" at 3:30. literally the whole country shuts down. adults eat biscuits together at work. kids pack morning tea for school. it's a "for real" snack time the whole country partakes in.

i can't think of anything like that in america. sure, people eat snacks. but there's no set "morning snack" or "afternoon snack" time.... and lots of people don't snack.

am i mistaken? do we have a national snack time?

tears for nummi

2010-04-17T03:28:00.002-05:00

listening to this american life (my new radio kick), tears came to my eyes when i heard stories about how the lean, teamwork-based toyota techniques turned a plant and the worker's lives around.

did i really shed a tear for efficiency or are they misplaced wedding nerves?

open doors

2010-04-13T19:02:00.002-05:00

even in windy, rainy, 45-55 degree weather almost all wellington shops keep their doors wide open.

perhaps i don't mind opening doors because i grew up between blizzards.... but either way, it makes me thankful i work from home....

2010-04-11T18:29:00.000-05:00

"It's so easy to communicate these days that there's no reason to communicate anything of interest." (This American Life)

That pretty much sums up facebook status updates versus hand-written letters 100 years ago.

happy place

2010-04-11T03:24:00.003-05:00

i didn't sleep well last night and i was tired (read: CRABBY) today. but the alphabet of nations always lifts my spirits. (usually after 2 or 3 viewings).

everyone needs a happy place to believe in: mine is west xylophone.

easter hangman

2010-04-03T05:15:00.003-05:00

this weekend i overhead two kids playing "easter hangman". the "easter word" was "christ"....

"christ? as in jesus christ? what's he got to do with easter?"

happy easter everyone.

dreams

2010-03-31T18:47:00.000-05:00

i have lots of dreams that start with peeps like this.... but where's the cream egg forest???

white bait

2010-03-29T07:36:00.000-05:00

i got to try the new zealand delicacy of "white bait fritters".... can you spot the eyes?

wedding prep

2010-03-28T13:34:00.000-05:00

good bye beloved belt and sneakers... i have a wedding to get ready for...

"mr hooker bear"

2010-03-27T18:33:00.001-05:00

some days i don't think i'll ever understand new zealand....

i don't need no steenkin weendows

2010-03-16T15:31:00.002-05:00

we thought it was okay that our studio apartment doesn't really have a window.... until we saw the view that others have. now i really want a window. anyone have a spare?

more street art

2010-03-15T01:11:00.000-05:00

sometimes street art is sadder than paint on a wall.... sometimes it plain out makes you cry.... how many other ice-cream cones has this guy ruined?

how many...

which switch

2010-03-14T01:09:00.000-06:00

which switch do you want to switch?

and why do red dots make them so much more enticing?

nz pi day

2010-03-13T08:06:00.000-06:00

happy pi day (new zealand)

walking speed

2010-03-13T01:13:00.003-06:00

today i found out that i walk at exactly the speed of the stock ticker. sadly, that means i only know the price of sky city (not to be confused with cloud city according to wookiepedia)

rudest person

2010-03-10T03:35:00.003-06:00

i met the rudest person ever.

i was walking to the markets when i heard "hey you" repeated over and over until i realized it was me.

i walked to the old lady in the car.

"get my wheel chair out of the trunk."

blunt. i was taken back, but got her wheel chair for her.

i set it in front of her open car door and she said:

"turn it around. i'm not pushing it."

i spun it around and said "everything good?" as i walked away. it doesn't feel good to help mean people.

super jesus

2010-03-09T13:22:00.000-06:00

watch nbc before leno for the new hit drama, the chronicles of super jesus.

street art helps the world

2010-03-08T08:00:00.000-06:00

how would this kid have ever learned to draw giraffes if it wasn't for street art?

my chilean earthquake

2010-03-07T19:18:00.001-06:00

this is the water level normally in wellington

this was the level when the mini-tsunami hit from the chilean earthquake. it's amazing an earthquake across the world can do this.

stubby bananas

2010-03-07T15:06:00.001-06:00

i'm hungry, but i'm not sure i can bring myself to eat a stubby banana.

plastic wrapped veg

2010-03-02T14:36:00.001-06:00

koo: this is why they plastic wrap food at target... so you don't have stick the price tag right to the food.

shopping cart

2010-03-01T14:34:00.000-06:00

i found my ideal job: shopping cart grease monkey. it's got all the manly traits of an auto mechanic... but something that i could actually handle.

street artist

2010-02-24T02:49:00.002-06:00

how did the street artist know that street performers always stand in front of this vacant building?

steam computer

2010-02-22T01:48:00.001-06:00

my new steam powered computer arrived today. let's hope i have enough coal to run the google.

new time measurement

2010-02-15T18:17:00.000-06:00

I've started to measure everything in "Warren Scooter Hours" (the amount of time it would take Warren Buffet to Motor Scooter somewhere). I live 5 Warren Scooter minutes from the library and about 1 Warren Scooter Hour from Tasha's sister.

russian seer

2010-02-10T17:45:00.000-06:00

if i were an ancient russian seer, i would spend less time focusing on the czars and more time trying to forecast the most popular drink of all time so that you i would be forever remembered every time someone orders a "rasputini"

what does your son do?

2010-02-08T21:57:00.003-06:00

it seems that parents brag about what their children do.... but they never brag about "what nice, decent people" they've turned out to be...

hindenberg anyone?

2010-02-04T12:11:00.000-06:00

there is talk of a new floating hotel that would carry 100 people at 100km/hour is a giant floating "luxury blimp".

let's hope this is more successful than the last time long distance travel was going to be revolutionized by a blimp...

unlucky alley

2010-02-03T18:00:00.000-06:00

there are two alleys i can take to leave my apartment: one goes by a brothel and the other by a church. walking past the former is disgusting as there is often vomit, smashed beer bottles and 'tools of the trade' blowing around.

today i picked up a crazy chinese coin from the brothel alleyway and suddenly my luck changed: it started pouring down rain, the shop i wanted to go to closed early, the other shop was out of the sale item i wanted and i got a text from a friend who i had just stood up.

walking home, i returned the coin to the street and my luck immediately returned to normal.

life of an astronaut

2010-02-02T02:39:00.001-06:00

with recent nasa cutbacks, this may soon be the life of an astronaut.

(still sounds pretty good to me)

airport

2010-02-01T02:36:00.002-06:00

next time you're stuck in the airport with a craving for peanuts, this machine will be your savior.

man babies

2010-01-31T15:01:00.002-06:00

ManBabies.com is one of the weirdest sites I've found in a long time. Usually I say, "I wish I had thought of it first".... but not in this case...

choose your words carefully

2010-01-31T14:38:00.001-06:00

it seems like there must be a better name for this company...

visa news

2010-01-23T01:15:00.003-06:00

our visa has been approved! hazzah!

the interview was a lot easier than we thought (they asked where we met, how long we've been dating, where i proposed, what our parents thought and a little bit about her last trip to amerika... nothing too scary)... and weirdly, the whole interview was conducted from a booth separating the consulate agent from us via bullet proof glass.

also, no electronics or liquids were allowed in the consulate.

visa flyup

2010-01-18T19:34:00.001-06:00

this fri we have our visa interview at the consulate. assuming all goes well, we're finally done* with paperwork.

* until re-entering the states

shower

2010-01-11T18:11:00.000-06:00

sorry for the previous post.

all of those completely disgusted by the content of the previous post are welcome to use this complementary barcelonan shower.

the day of disgusting men

2010-01-09T18:07:00.002-06:00

today was the day of disgusting men:

* near the ocean walking down the street, a man had his hand shoved down the back of his jeans for more than 5 seconds. the whole time, tash and i were chanting "smell it"... and he did upon removing his hand from his pants.

* at a museum exhibit about caves, a man farmer blew his nose into a real cave pond. outstanding.

giant jenga

2010-01-07T17:16:00.000-06:00

Find me a man-sized shoots and ladders (or mousetrap) and I'm in....

giant sign

2010-01-02T02:32:00.000-06:00

why thank you, giant sign... i was downtown and looking for just such a thing...

the movies... closed?

2010-01-01T02:11:00.001-06:00

walking around the city on new year's eve, i noticed the movie theatre was closed. i don't think i've ever remembered a night where the movies were closed before.

happy new years

2009-12-31T05:01:00.001-06:00

attention everyone still in 2009: happy new years, but do not enter 2010. giant robots with nerve gas have taken over the earth. we sent a man back into the past and hope he can head off the robot attack before you reach the next decade.

p.s. the robots are repulsed by bananas. stock up while there's still time. (and if the time traveling hero succeeds, at least bananas are good for your health).

UPDATE: As of Jan 2nd, everything is back to normal. The time traveler succeeded!

reverse diabetes

2009-12-29T19:18:00.000-06:00

during the last four days i have had one small square of chocolate. nothing sweet has appealed to me.

i'm worried i have reverse diabetes and will have to extract insulin from my body after every meal.

strawberry jam

2009-12-26T19:59:00.002-06:00

the veggie markets on christmas weekend were empty... only a few vendors and only a few shoppers... that low demand meant lots of rotting strawberries... i got 2 boxes of strawberries for 0.75c, which had enough good berries to produce a cup of homemade jam. it's a little runny, but i added a kick of cinnamon.

merry christmas

2009-12-23T22:19:00.003-06:00

the socks have been hung by the radiator with care....

Kiva ad advertisement contest what is kiva video

2009-12-18T14:22:00.002-06:00

Tasha and I teamed up to make this ad describing what Kiva does... Believe it or not, instead of hiring a child, I was able to imitate a child's drawing... and that dazzling radio voice is yours truly. As for the banjo, that's tasha.....'s choice...

If the video doesn't load above, go to:
http://tongal.com/app/submissionDetail.action?id=618;EL1466

Whether you're impressed by my artwork, or think Kiva's a good cause: tell a friend today.

best chocolate of my life

2009-12-16T21:23:00.003-06:00

this weekend i had one of the best chocolates of my life. it was a chocolate terrine at martin bosley's.

my other top two chocolates are roy yamaguchi's chocolate souffle and truffles from the vosges chocolate shop in manhattan.

lovely bones premiere

2009-12-16T21:15:00.003-06:00

the guy leaning in a grey suit is murray hewit from flight of the concords.

she has tape on her back. is this a new trend?

the premiere of lovely bones in NZ had all the celebrities out.

pohutukawa

2009-12-10T02:20:00.000-06:00

i love the new zealand "christmas tree"... it's one of my favorite flowers over here...

what escalotor

2009-12-09T02:16:00.000-06:00

the glasses store OPSM is just "up the escalator"...

but there is no escalator....

is it magic? or do i need glasses?

windows

2009-12-08T17:14:00.000-06:00

i live many floors above ground level.

feet suddenly just crashed against my window.

i certainly hope it's window washers!

limo public poo

2009-12-07T02:12:00.001-06:00

even limos need to stop to use public restrooms

nuptials

2009-12-03T16:46:00.001-06:00

since i'm getting married this summer, it's time to upgrade from the single bed...

speed trap

2009-12-03T01:44:00.001-06:00

today i watched a 5 officer speed trap on a busy downtown segment... they were pulling over cars almost as fast as officers could write tickets... it was hard core; they even pulled over a bus. i guess it's nice to see other countries still have this* problem.

*speed traps

Madea goes to...

2009-12-02T01:34:00.003-06:00

the only thing about "madea" movies is putting "madea" into other movie's titles...

crouching tiger, hidden madea
madea, with a chance of meatballs
the wind in madea (a.k.a. the sound of madea)
sleepless in madea
the little mermadea

new and improved men's health

2009-11-27T04:20:00.000-06:00

the new and expanded men's health, featuring 50% more variety:
now you can lose your gut AND get six-pack abs

happy thanksgiving

2009-11-26T04:14:00.002-06:00

happy thanksgiving!

we ate stuffing, garlic mashed potatoes, roasted pumpkin seeds, gravy and pumpkin pie*

*with hokey pokey ice-cream

lotto!

2009-11-19T17:28:00.000-06:00

today i found a dollar on the ground. think i'll buy a lotto ticket. imagine if i could turn a free dollar into $10,000.... that would be over a million percent profit!

market day

2009-11-18T17:53:00.000-06:00

this week i went crazy and bought 3 veg i had never bought before: bok choy, radishes and celery. (and i had never tried a radish before).

maybe next week i'll find the courage to try a plum...

new instrument

2009-11-17T18:03:00.000-06:00

this was a crazy "chinese steel drum" instrument with an eerie, hippie feel. i have no idea what it was.

slow news day

2009-11-16T00:25:00.000-06:00

today i made a lasso with one of my long hairs and then tried to rope a hangnail. it was a rare treat since i don't usually have many hang nails.... ah... hand lotion...

size matters?

2009-11-15T00:21:00.000-06:00

so is this a really small person or a really big skateboard?

loo blog

2009-11-14T00:20:00.000-06:00

a blog themed toilet.... yup... that seems about right...

cardboard or life?

2009-11-01T02:05:00.000-06:00

which is cardboard? which is real?

tasha's bro wins a trip to LA

liberachi

2009-10-31T13:47:00.000-05:00

i feel my 16 years of lessons have been leading up to this piano...

avant gaurd or vandalism

2009-10-30T13:44:00.000-05:00

i have the darndest time telling avant guard furniture stores from vandalism

first kiwi helicopter

2009-10-29T13:40:00.001-05:00

needless to say, the first kiwi helicopter was not as successful as everyone had hoped...

how many sheets?

2009-10-28T19:38:00.002-05:00

how many sheets are on your toilet paper roll?

NZ has 190.

it feels like i'm ALWAYS changing the roll.

sickness

2009-10-27T03:03:00.002-05:00

two things i have learned from suffering a cold this week:

1. watching a die hard each day of a cold is an excellent way to pass time (and dream about things blowing up)

2. chips sound crunchier when you're filled with sn*t.

disappearing car door

2009-10-25T16:57:00.002-05:00

i wonder how long before my bus gets a disappearing door?

antipodes wedding

2009-10-22T01:28:00.003-05:00

today i made my list of people i want to fly to the opposite side of the globe so they don't cause problems at the wedding.

the good news for new zealand trouble-makers: they go to spain.

americans, however, will be sent to the indian ocean.

black barbie

2009-10-21T15:13:00.003-05:00

cnn says: "The new black Barbies released by Mattel have fuller lips, curlier hair and other features that the company says more accurately represent African-Americans."

... because the one thing Barbie is known for is "accurately representing" Americans

outliers

2009-10-21T01:00:00.001-05:00

i've been reading the outliers and learned that there are no rags-to-riches geniuses who magically rocket to a successful life through some super-human intelligence or ability.

they all (bill gates, the beatles, etc) put in 10,000 hours of "practice" before their lucky break launched them into a phenomenal career.

i've got quite a few more hours to log before i hit my 10,000.

(although i do have 80,000 hours of sleep under my belt!)

so what have you been up to?

2009-10-20T03:26:00.002-05:00

so what you been up to lately?

oh, not much. just grocery shopping with bret. that's right, i even got to see his baby.

(not jemaine. his offspring.)

so math isnt a job requirement??

2009-10-18T02:46:00.002-05:00

shopping for thermals, half were labeled "50% off" and the other half were labeled "3 for 1"

i asked the clerk which sale price was correct: "they're normally 3 for 1, but we're currently running a sale so they're only 50% off!!! better get some before they go back to their normal price!!"

?????

important lessons about nature

2009-10-16T17:52:00.000-05:00

important lessons about nature: how to serve a banana shaped like a penguin

urban fishing

2009-10-15T17:09:00.000-05:00

wellington streets.

fly fishing.

literally.

tragedy: lost chocolate

2009-10-14T17:04:00.002-05:00

i dropped the chocolate banana bread on the floor last night and nearly cried.

tasha thought the look on my face was worth losing the bread... but nothing is worth losing chocolate.

while cleaning up, tasha noticed giant smears of chocolate on my face. we're still not sure if it was flung up there during the fall or while i was shoveling any bit that looked salvageable into my mouth.

fried butter

2009-10-10T20:10:00.003-05:00

last time i went to welly, i didn't think i would find any food fattier than fried cheesecake.

today i did: fried butter balls.

seriously, what has the world come to?

earthquake: 4.8

2009-10-10T16:23:00.003-05:00

yesterday i felt my second "big-to-me" earthquake in wellington. i was doing dishes (as good fiances do) and the whole room started shaking. the mirror on the wall hanging laundry shook, but nothing tipped over.

on the colorful earthquake depth map: i don't know what it means, but i think deeper earthquakes tend to be more severe?? this earthquake was just deep enough to put on the map.

sadly, the earthquake was not severe enough to get me out of doing the dishes.

colossal squid

2009-10-09T22:21:00.003-05:00

today at the national new zealand museum, we saw the world's largest squid.

tomorrow we go to the world's largest calamari feast.

wellington library

2009-10-08T03:34:00.002-05:00

i can't ride the long escalators up the wellington library without wondering how far i could throw a paper air plane. i reckon 6 stacks away.

the new pad

2009-09-30T20:37:00.004-05:00

note the homemade curtain to hide clothes.

note the jack-a-lantern-flour-bag and home-made cushion

note the wine cozy shaped like a kimono

love letters

2009-09-30T17:41:00.003-05:00

it's not the most romantic thing i've ever written, but we finished our 100 page fiance visa application today.

here's a breakdown of what love is... legally speaking...

wow. in deed.

2009-09-26T22:12:00.008-05:00

wellington hosts the international wearable arts award show every year.

it is an event that always restores my faith in humanity. i love that one person's dream of being creative with fabric has caught on to a huge 10 day festival.

the show is fun, amazing, inspired... and there was a mini completely covered in mirror bits that dangled from the ceiling like a disco ball.

sweet as.

a stunningly beautiful butterfly.

a kid won the children's division by making this. how much help did he get from mom?

sonic is all grown up.

what do you mean i can't use the drive thru?

this is wood. (hope she doesn't smoke).

flour cozy

2009-09-25T18:14:00.001-05:00

we go through lots of flour, which is why i thought a 20 pound bag was a good idea even though we don't have any cupboard space.

since you can't buy flour cozies very easily, a flour-a-lantern seemed like a good second choice.

high speed broadband internet ISP review wellington: woosh

2009-09-24T23:20:00.016-05:00

Internet Review: Here is my story signing up for Internet through Woosh.

Sept 14th: Registered for Woosh. Was told I would have Internet within 8 (business? calendar?) days.

Sept 21st: Received a letter saying Internet would be working Sept 18th. It wasn't.

Sept 22nd: Contacted Woosh and they promised a tech would call within 24 hours.

Sept 23rd: The Tech never called. I contacted Woosh and they told me my install has been re-scheduled for the 24th.

Sept 24th: I changed my schedule to be home in the afternoon, but the Internet wasn't working by dinner time. I called Woosh and asked to speak to a Manager. I was told that wasn't necessary. Their computer system told them the final part of the install would take effect at 11pm.

Sept 25th: It still wasn't working the next morning. I decided to leave Woosh. The tech told me the install technicians have been striking, so my service might not be faster with another company. Decide to talk to competition before canceling Woosh. I contacted Vodaphone, Telestar Clear and Telecom. They all use the same network and same technicians (i felt stuck with no real competition)... the other companies claim "haven't had significant delays" (which is probably the different between talking to the competition's sales staff and my vendor's support team).

Sept 25th, second call: Woosh can install it on the 28th. Decided to tough it out for another week. To cheer me up, the Woosh technician told me he's had to schedule some people for October 8th. Very reassuring. I ask for a manager again and am told everything's scheduled. There's no need to worry. But I did get my first week of internet (which I couldn't use) for free.

Sept 27th: Woosh finds this post and a technician contacts me. (I got much better response time from Woosh after that)

Sept 28th: The scheduled technician never shows up.

Sept 29th: A technician is supposed to call to arrange an install for the 30th. The technician never calls.

Sept 30th: I am supposed to be installed today, but nobody shows up.

Oct 1st: A technician is supposed to call before noon. He doesn't. So Woosh contact the technician for me and arrange a time for the 2nd.

Oct 2nd: The technician calls and installs my Internet.

the internot

2009-09-22T18:46:00.005-05:00

new zealand has no idea what the internet is or how it has revolutionized business. it's a digital third world waste land.

you have limited competition to pay $90/month to for a paltry 10 gigs of traffic and the technician who fails to connect the internot to your apartment still tapes his business card to the exterior door of your sixty-unit building and then wonders why you haven't returned his call in a week. (but he only wonders that to himself. you have to call the company who calls the company who calls the company who calls the technician to figure that much out)

i think i'm less angry and mostly sad that they just don't get it or how software development could revolutionize a country with a geographic encumbrance to export manufactured goods.

a day in the dumps

2009-09-21T18:38:00.006-05:00

it's not your typical tourist destination, but yesterday i went to the wellington landfill because they have a "tip shop"... a used junk shop at the face of the dump.

landfills and scrap yards are just like the movies:
* huge, ugly, mean guard dogs that growled at me (check) (and check a second time)
* crazy man with 3 teeth missing and a scragly beard that calmed the dogs (check)
* birds ominously circling overhead (check)
* a faint smell of vomit that got stronger with each step (check)

the hillside around the dump was covered in gorse (prickly stickly hedging the english brought over) and pretty much every gorse plant had a plastic bag flying from it like a proud garbage flag.

the tip shop was disappointing (no USB keyboards or VGA cables)... and i certainly wasn't interested in buying barwear from it. but if i ever need a bike....

all in all, a huge success. visit your local tip today.

milk department

2009-09-19T12:20:00.000-05:00

i bet your city doesn't have a municipal milk department.

now i bet you don't feel so cool.